Parent With Choice | Parent & Life Coaching http://parentwithchoice.com Live Your Vision Now Tue, 11 Dec 2012 17:17:27 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 How to create a healthy attitude toward food in young children http://parentwithchoice.com/how-to-create-a-healthy-attitude-toward-food-in-young-children/ http://parentwithchoice.com/how-to-create-a-healthy-attitude-toward-food-in-young-children/#comments Tue, 11 Dec 2012 17:17:27 +0000 admin http://parentwithchoice.com/?p=977 As we grow older we become more conscious about our food choices and healthy nutrition. Part of our job of being a parent is not only to teach our children how to maintain a healthy diet, which is extremely important by its own merit; what is even more important in my point of view is to create a healthy attitude toward food from a young age. We want to avoid eating disorders, self esteem issues and other unhealthy relationships with food that children can develop from a very young age and are left to deal with for the rest of their lives.

1. Be a role model – Eat moderately and healthy and be active. Refrain from criticizing your body as you are teaching your child to do the same.

2. Communicate your choices to your child – Explain why is it important to you to exercise including its benefits, why are you choosing to buy organic food and so on… This is your opportunity to teach your child everything you have learned about nutrition and healthy living.

3. Avoid going to the extreme – Not allowing your child to eat candy or chocolate does not sit well with them. They will develop a craving for anything that is not allowed and will find other ways to get it (for example, trading snacks at school, eating at friends’ homes and in some cases taking food without permission). Human nature’s tendency is to desire the forbidden; when parents single out candy as something bad they are without exception setting unreasonable expectations of their child. What needs to be offered is an explanation about why large quantities of candy are not the best idea, and then educate your child to find a healthier available treat , such as whole wheat cookies, a fruit, and so on – but without totally excluding treats.

4. Create and maintain an open channel of communication around this subject - Share with your child some of your successes or challenges regarding healthy eating. It is important that your child know that this is a life journey in which you make countless decisions every day.

Our objective as parents is to steer our child away from being obsessive about food. With lots of restrictions the child may feel in a virtual prison and then her natural inclination will be to seek freedom by eating all that she is not allowed. We need to be very careful as parents to raise the issue of nutrition without making it too big of an issue. This is a very delicate balancing act that requires a lot of adjusting along the way, but you want to make sure that you are monitoring your child to make sure she has a healthy attitude toward one of the basic needs in life.

]]> http://parentwithchoice.com/how-to-create-a-healthy-attitude-toward-food-in-young-children/feed/ 0 How to support your child in having the best attitude for life http://parentwithchoice.com/how-to-support-your-child-in-having-the-best-attitude-for-life/ http://parentwithchoice.com/how-to-support-your-child-in-having-the-best-attitude-for-life/#comments Mon, 05 Nov 2012 14:08:26 +0000 admin http://parentwithchoice.com/?p=973 It is probably not news to you that we all perceive reality in different and unique ways. Some of us have negative attitudes and some positive, some of us like to fight to achieve our goals and others give up. I don’t believe that this is a genetic tendency or something innate from infancy, rather I purport it is a habit that we acquire along the way. The good news is that habits can be changed.

Before we get into the “How” I would like to briefly share some insights about the way our brains function. Our brain is the best storyteller there is; all we do all day long is create stories and fill in gaps in order to make some sense of the reality we face. Unfortunately our brain’s tendency is to gravitate toward the negative scenarios rather than the optimistic resourceful ones. The audio that accompanies us every minute of our life can make the difference between a happy and fulfilled person or a bitter and depressed one.

So how can we assure that our children have the best stories? The stories that will make them determined, consistent, hopeful and compassionate to their own selves?

* Role modelling: When you face a challenging situation, narrate loudly and share what your thoughts are. For instance if the dish you cooked was not so tasty, you can say out loud to yourself “I am a bit disappointed but I know I tried and I know what went wrong so I will do better next time”. Your child will hear it and will most likely use this in a similar situation. This is a very important tool since it gives your child the language and the attitude to deal with various challenges.

* Using different lingo: When you hear your child saying “I am so stupid” or “I am a loser”, instead of saying “No you are not” just rephrase it to: “I feel so stupid” or “I feel like a looser”. The idea is to move away from declarations about one’s identity because the child perceives that message as a fact that can’t be challenged. Encourage the child to express feelings which are perceived as subjective and hence open to interpretation and to discussion to address the issue. This tool enables you as a parent to continue this conversation.

* The lesson: As a parent you want your child to look at a past situation in a rational way and to learn as much as she can from it. You don’t want her to dwell on her emotions, not only because it makes her sad, but mostly because it doesn’t give her a chance or any motivation to change and to act on it. If your child states “I am bad at math” you can help them learn to say “How can I be better at math?”

* Give the power: Empower your child and make her understand that she can choose what story to tell herself and how to proceed from that point on.

*Positive reinforcement: When your child is telling herself a resourceful story praise her to make sure she will continue with this positive habit.

It is extremely powerful to know that you can choose your stories, change them and get rid of the ones that don’t serve you. Having this skill and this habit is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child.

]]> http://parentwithchoice.com/how-to-support-your-child-in-having-the-best-attitude-for-life/feed/ 0 A Parent’s Coaching Guide to After School Programs http://parentwithchoice.com/a-parent%e2%80%99s-coaching-guide-to-after-school-programs/ http://parentwithchoice.com/a-parent%e2%80%99s-coaching-guide-to-after-school-programs/#comments Mon, 01 Oct 2012 19:19:19 +0000 admin http://parentwithchoice.com/?p=966 Many parents believe that their children need to participate in a few after school programs. Reasons vary from the need to keep their child busy to the belief that these programs contribute directly to the development of the child’s natural talents. This might explain why many parents push their children in a certain direction and why they are subsequently surprised when their children, instead of thanking them and being happy, resist their plan and refuse to participate in those programs. My mission as a Parent Coach is to support you with any parental decision you introduce to your family; enrolling your child in an after school program might be one of them.

Please ask yourself the following questions:
•What is the goal you would like your child to achieve by participating in the specific program (be it playing one day in the National Hockey League, being able to practice self defence by doing Karate etc…)?
•What are some of the values, skills or knowledge you would like your child to obtain by participating in this particular program (the value of team playing in soccer, the skill of swimming or the knowledge of math)?
•On a scale of 1 (not important) to 10 (very important), where would you put this program?
•How did you choose or match this particular program to your child (her talent, location of the program, schedule reasons, the instructor, the fee, carpool options etc…)

Answering these questions will help you in choosing the best program(s) for your child, and it will also help you support your child in trying out those programs and in staying committed for the whole year. It is imperative that you have strong convictions behind every program your child is enrolled in. Some young children continue to have separation anxiety, some are overwhelmed by long days at school and the after school program may just be too much for them. That’s why it is important to know your child and to have good reasons for your program choices. When you are fully convinced that your child should take swimming lessons because she needs it as a life skill, or piano lessons because learning music helps to develop eye hand coordination and has all the benefits of learning a new language, your child detects this conviction and determination and is likely to share this conviction and be motivated to participate fully.

As role models for our children, we want and need to show our children that we value commitment among other things and this is fulfilled by staying in programs for the year.
I encourage you to carefully consider in which and how many programs you enroll your child in the beginning of the year. Once you’ve made up your mind, stick to it! Naturally some flexibility is always recommended.

Good luck and have a wonderful and productive year!

]]> http://parentwithchoice.com/a-parent%e2%80%99s-coaching-guide-to-after-school-programs/feed/ 0 Parenting: Change is Inevitable http://parentwithchoice.com/parenting-change-is-inevitable/ http://parentwithchoice.com/parenting-change-is-inevitable/#comments Fri, 24 Aug 2012 23:39:27 +0000 admin http://parentwithchoice.com/?p=959 Milton Erikson lived personally and professionally by five principles, the first being “change is inevitable”.  This principle echoes the Heraclitus famous saying that you cannot step twice into the same river. At first impression this principle sounds cliché. As parents we all hold on to the notion that change is inevitable. We know our children will eventually grow up and will not stay at the “terrible two” stage or the “teenager attitude” forever. This approach tends to be passive in nature; we grit our teeth through rough situations, hoping and praying that with nature’s help, change will occur.

I would like to offer a proactive way to look at that principle. Change is inevitable not only because our children grow up, it is inevitable because whatever our children do is not who they are, it is the sum of their behavioural habits. When you look at one’s behaviour as a sum of habits as opposed to a lable of the iridentity you are opening the door for a change. Each of us can change our habits if we set our minds to it and while it is true that we can control no one but ourselves, we can still support our children in the process of change.

One of the parents I work with recently shared a challenge she had regarding her 4-year-old son’s physical interactions with her. Her state of mind was simply that he is a violent boy. When I introduced the notion of “change is inevitable” she concluded that when he grows older he might change. This mom saw her child’s habit of interacting in a physical way as his identity, and as such she believed that it this would remain unchanged even now. Consequently she felt all she could do was wait to see if he outgrew it and hope for the best as he grew up. I suggested she view his behaviour as a habit and to think about ways to support him in adopting constructive ways to communicate.

As the year begins I invite you to take a proactive parenting approach and to look at your children in a different light. Remember that their behaviour can be changed with your support now, because it is a habit and habits can be changed in 21 days and be sustainable after six months.

]]> http://parentwithchoice.com/parenting-change-is-inevitable/feed/ 0 How to have the best parenting year? http://parentwithchoice.com/how-to-have-the-best-parenting-year/ http://parentwithchoice.com/how-to-have-the-best-parenting-year/#comments Fri, 05 Aug 2011 16:25:13 +0000 admin http://parentwithchoice.com/?p=953 Summertime is always the perfect opportunity for you as a parent to prepare for the upcoming school year. Generally people are more relaxed and have time to think through choices and options for the fall. While this includes school, program and activity registrations and buying new clothes and uniforms, this is also an excellent chance to create your family vision for a successful and enjoyable school year.

Careful and thoughtful planning will result in your and your family’s success during the upcoming school year. Please take the time to answer these questions and thoughts when planning for your year ahead.

1. How will this coming year be different for your family and you from previous ones?

2. You will determine and set specific goals for the year to come for each of your children, for yourself and for your family as a whole (These goals can be social, professional, financial, personal growth etc…)

3. Any specific challenges which may derail you or your family from a smooth course of daily life; for example logistics, academic or social challenges for the kids as well as behavioural and character induced ones.

4. How your family rules, expectations and consequence chart will look for the next year, and how you will assist your children in following it thus avoiding any behavioural issues.

5. What your family schedule and your personal one will look like? What is the stress level it induces from 1 to 10 (10 being extremely stressful) and how you can reduce it?

6. What your support plan looks like: How you will ask for and enlist assistance from relatives, friends and/or professional caregivers in order to facilitate achieving your family goals.

Have a great new school and parenting year!

]]> http://parentwithchoice.com/how-to-have-the-best-parenting-year/feed/ 0 How to stay the center of your child’s life? – The Coaching approach http://parentwithchoice.com/how-to-stay-the-center-of-your-child%e2%80%99s-life-the-coaching-approach/ http://parentwithchoice.com/how-to-stay-the-center-of-your-child%e2%80%99s-life-the-coaching-approach/#comments Tue, 12 Apr 2011 13:34:32 +0000 admin http://parentwithchoice.com/?p=929 Being a new parent is a 24/7 job both physically and emotionally. Whether we like it or not, our new baby is the center of our universe as we are hers. As our baby grows and becomes more social and independent we start to lose ground in the battle to stay the center of her emotional and physical world. She makes new friends and has her own ideas, passions and preferences that do not always coincide with our values and our “map of the world”.

Our challenge as parents is great: How to continue being the center part in our child’s life?

Unfortunately as our children enter the ‘tween and teen years, they tend to gravitate toward their peers. What we once took for granted – their constant need for us – is now often gone.

Before sharing some ways to keep yourself the center of your child’s life, let me explain what being the center or central part of your child’s life means and why putting in the effort to do so is so crucial.

  • Being center doesn’t mean imposing yourself or your values upon your children. Being center has a different interpretation in each and every family. The essence of it is to make sure that you are there for your child whenever she needs you and that she knows that and uses that information for her safety and well being.
  • The strong connection or attachment, as Gordon Neufeld calls it, between parents and children since birth is there for a reason. We provide them with all their physical, emotional and analytical needs.  These needs vary as the years go by, but they are always there. Sometimes the child masks these needs so well that we forget this important part of our role.
  • When you don’t make enough effort or are not aware that you are no longer a central force in your child’s life, the child’s peers will likely fill your void. Ask yourself, “Do you want your child to role model his peers? Do you want her to internalize their values, habits and behaviours or would you like her to follow your example?”
  • Once you lose your central role in your child’s life it is very hard to regain it, though it is doable. Being aware of it from the beginning of your parenting journey will setting the stage for your success.

So how do we stay central in our children’s life?

  • Being aware of this issue and setting it as a goal is the first step.
  • Make it a priority; it is extremely important and is the effort is worthwhile.
  • Deepen your knowledge about your child’s developmental stages and then take a moment to visualize your relationship with her at each future developmental stage. Once you have a clear vision of what your relationship should and will look like you can start to make it happen.
  • Be prepared to work hard and to face some setbacks and rebellious moments. Having the clear vision of what you desire and aspire to will help you cope with those moments.
  • Make an effort to spend lots of time with your children and not only “quality time”. Be there physically and don’t be absent too long as your void will be filled by somebody else.
  • Promote open, trustful and transparent communication, so in case you feel away from the center you can still communicate your feelings and concerns to your child in a way that she will respond to positively.
  • Be curious about your child’s experiences, her friends, her dreams and so on… Avoid advising her when talking to her and instead just be curious and non judgmental.
  • With the social media becoming such a dominant part in our children’s life, staying vigilant and making sure young children are prevented from being part of it older ones have limited access will ease familial ineraction and time together.
  • Encourage your child to make friends with other children who place their parents as a central part in their lives.
  • Role model to your child how you put them in the center of your life and show it to them by being more involved in their lives.
  • Deal with your fears of getting closer to your child, especially if you are already not the central force in her life. It is never too late to recreate or reshape your relationship if and as necessary.
  • Be cautious of making assumptions such as: “She is a teenager now and needs her friends and not me”. Ask your child constantly what she needs from you and start a conversation when you communicate your needs and principles as her parent.
  • Remember you are the parent! Exercise your right.
]]> http://parentwithchoice.com/how-to-stay-the-center-of-your-child%e2%80%99s-life-the-coaching-approach/feed/ 2 What to do when your child is lying – The coaching approach http://parentwithchoice.com/what-to-do-when-your-child-is-lying-the-coaching-approach/ http://parentwithchoice.com/what-to-do-when-your-child-is-lying-the-coaching-approach/#comments Thu, 03 Mar 2011 19:55:34 +0000 admin http://parentwithchoice.com/?p=912 My 10 year old girl lies about ridiculous things all the time! Why? What is going on?

My 10-year-old daughter lies about everything all the time…this morning it was really ridiculous. I asked her if she had her tennis shoes ready for P.E., she looked right at me while saying yes and minutes later as we are rushing off to the car she says to wait so she can go get her shoes! I said, “Why did you tell me you already had them” …the answer was “I don’t know” .I asked her “Why did you lie instead of earlier just saying you didn’t have them yet?” The shoe thing isn’t really a big deal, however, we go through this 3-4 times a day where she will tell me lies like her homework or chores are done and then 5 minutes before bedtime…she suddenly remembers to do her homework or chores! The answer when I ask her why she lied AGAIN is always “I don’t know”! I feel like I am going crazy! I am beginning to think she just never listens or hears me in the first place, that it’s not a lie and she just says “whatever”. This is a big problem and we fight about seemingly little things every day for no reason. It is at the point where I don’t even want to approach her about anything because we will fight or she won’t even hear me anyway so why say anything?? Is anyone else going through this?

Integrity is one of the most important values for us as parents in modern society. We do our best to be honest and to role model integrity to our kids and we expect them to do and to be the same. When we catch our child in a lie we become very emotional about it because it violates one of our core values and it jeopardizes the mutual trust on which we have been working so hard.

It is important to know that while all kids experiment with lying particularly between the ages of 4 – 6 as part as their healthy development process, when lying occurs at an older age and in a repetitive manner, parents should address the issue immediately and effectively.

In coaching we don’t focus on the reasons behind our behaviour, since it does not serve us to ask our child “Why are you lying?” I am not sure if they even know why they are doing it or if they are capable of expressing it to us. A better question to ask yourself or your child, providing he is old and mature enough, would be: “What do you need that lying gives you? Is it attention; is it a sense of freedom, or of control?” These questions when answered thoughtfully and honestly can pave the way to the beginning of trustful and open communication between the parent and the child.

Alongside this question and the effort to help your child by attending to their needs you also want to get the next few points across by communicating them to your child:

1.     When you lie you risk losing the other person’s trust and this trust is difficult to rebuild.

2.     Lies are always revealed at the end.

3.     Think about a time when you have been lied to, how did it make you feel?

4.     I will always love you and accept you no matter what, provided you are being honest with me.

5.     In the case of this 10 year old, when lying has become a habit, I would explain that to the child and will make sure he understands that this is not who he is but rather a bad habit he has acquired and can be changed.

It is crucial to stop everything and take the time to talk to your child and make sure they understand how important this issue is. If you go on with your regular activities, the child gets the message that he can get away with lying since it is not such a big deal for you. This is a huge disservice for him in two ways.  First, , neglecting to deal with lying will keep sabotaging your current relationship with your child and second, believing that he can get away with that gives him permission to continue with this negative and destructive habit. It will then become more rooted in his personality and harder to change in the future.

The last point I would like to make is that as a parent you want to make sure that you are indeed modeling integrity in your behaviour as well. Children learn by imitation and if we lack integrity it is hard to expect them to integrate this value.

If there is one message I would like to send to you as parents when dealing with children who lie it is this: Act on it strongly and immediately, it is just too important to ignore.

]]> http://parentwithchoice.com/what-to-do-when-your-child-is-lying-the-coaching-approach/feed/ 0 Guest post: Baby Sign Language http://parentwithchoice.com/guest-post-baby-sign-language/ http://parentwithchoice.com/guest-post-baby-sign-language/#comments Thu, 10 Feb 2011 19:43:11 +0000 admin http://parentwithchoice.com/?p=889 A baby’s first word is not traditionally expected to be silent.  However, after learning how beneficial it can be for your child to learn Sign Language at a young age, the idea may not seem so radical.  A recent trend shows sign language is being used by much younger babies as a way to communicate with their parents, but the skill they are learning can and will help them with so much more.

Time to Bond

The benefits of early childhood education in signing are endless.  In addition to giving kids a way to communicate, it also provides them with an opportunity to form a bond with their parent(s).  The hope is that eventually it will become know as one of the “firsts” that no parent wants to miss, such as the first time they walked or their first tooth.  Signing is likely to allow communication much earlier than verbally.

First Words

Ages 2 to five –are an ample time to educate children in different modes of communication and language because of their brain development course. This goes beyond the spoken word (though it is an optimal time for children to learn a second language); many young children have an aptitude for signing as well.

American Indian nations have used sign language for centuries to facilitate communication with other tribes with whom they do not share a language. Some paleontologists and anthropologists theorize that Neanderthals – who apparently lacked the vocal mechanism to produce many spoken words – depended a great deal upon hand gestures to communicate. Therefore it is not as strange as one would think.

In fact, recent research suggests that sign language is innate. An article published in the Boulder Daily Camera in 2003 presented strong evidence that babies as young as six months old communicate with their hands:

“…by 6 to 7 months, babies can remember a sign. At eight months, children

can begin to imitate gestures and sign single words. By 24 months, children

can sign compound words and full sentences. They say sign language reduces

frustration in young children by giving them a means to express themselves

before they know how to talk.” (Glarion, 2003)

The National Institute of Child Health and Human Development are also referred to by the author, demonstrating that young children who are taught sign language at an early age whether at day care or at home, actually develop better verbal skills as they get older. The ability to sign has also helped parents in communicating with autistic children; one parent reports that “using sign language allowed her to communicate with her [autistic] son and minimized his frustration…[he now] has an advanced vocabulary and excels in math, spelling and music” (Glarion, 2003).

The ability to communicate articulately in a variety of ways and languages to the widest possible audience is a great way to stay ahead and ensure a decent standard of living in our suffering economic state.  This is not limited to speaking different languages but also non-verbal communication: signing.

However, the shortage of qualified interpreters fluent in American Sign Language that has led to more career opportunities is dwindling– and if current trends continue, it’s likely that skilled ASL interpreters will have little problem securing lucrative employment in a society where such a commodity is destined to be in short supply.

Co-written by Emily Patterson and Kathleen Thomas

Emily and Kathleen are Communications Coordinators for the network of Austin day care facilities belonging to the AdvancED® accredited family of Primrose day care schools.  Primrose Schools are located in 16 states throughout the U.S. and are dedicated to delivering progressive, early childhood, Balanced Learning® curriculum throughout their preschools.

Thank you to Emily Patterson and Kathleen Thomas for writing this informative post. Please visit some of the following websites for practical guidelines for when and how to start communicating with your baby in sign language as well as to download FREE baby sign language charts.

http://www.babysignlanguage.com/chart/

http://www.babysignlanguage.com/

http://www.babies-and-sign-language.com/

]]> http://parentwithchoice.com/guest-post-baby-sign-language/feed/ 0 Morning routines and making them work http://parentwithchoice.com/morning-routines-and-making-them-work/ http://parentwithchoice.com/morning-routines-and-making-them-work/#comments Wed, 02 Feb 2011 17:33:49 +0000 admin http://parentwithchoice.com/?p=882 As soon as you become a parent you become aware of the importance of the word routine. Creating and maintaining various routines is very important for children; it is predictable and structured and it gives them a sense of safety they need so much in this world.

Of all our routines, one of the most important and challenging is the morning routine. This routine is equally important to us parents as it enables us to start the day in a calm and efficient way.

It is sure hard for some kids to stick to their routines but usually it is harder for the parents to make the change and stick with it. You want to make sure that we can consistently provide our children with the familiar routine. The good news is that a habit can be formed within 21 days, so the morning routine can be established during this short amount of time and be permanently sustained after six months.

Here are some points for you to consider when creating your family’s morning routine:

1.     Visualize your ideal morning.  Begin with wake up time and move through all the steps you and your family do so you can start your day calm, happy and on time.

2.     Write down the steps and estimate the time or duration each step requires.

3.     Be detailed in terms of what needs to be prepared in advance including what kind of help you need. Think about meals, after school dance bags, snacks for the car, do the kids need money for school programs, is everything signed and packed in school bags, etc… Think about what can be done the night before to ease the morning routine. Add all this to the list so you can divide the list and accomplish much of it the evening before.

4.     Think briefly about all the bad mornings you have, identify what went wrong and make a list of it.

5.     Go over this list and brainstorm by yourself and or with  your partner some of the ways to make each one of them work.

6.     Once you have a clear picture and a plan of your desired morning routine it is time to get your children involved as well. Start a discussion with your kids about what they would like the morning to look like or in other words what are their needs and preferences for the morning routine. It is important to understand that in order to get your kids engaged they have to be part of the process, or imposing a routine will not go so well. Once they have expressed their position you want to come up with a combined family plan for this routine where the rules and roles of each family member is crystal clear.

7.     All the negotiations and discussions are to happen during that preparatory conversation and not in the morning. The key is that all the family members will have a very clear idea of the expectations regarding their involvement in the morning routine.

8.     Fine-tune and alter the plan as you go if needed, remember flexibility wins.

Here are some do’s and don’ts regarding the morning routine I would love to share:

Do’s Don’ts
1. Time it in a way that you won’t be late and stressed – wake up 5 minutes earlier.

2. Make sure you are ready before you start with the kids.

3. Hang a big poster with the routine details on the fridge or the wall so everybody can see it.

4. Rehearse with your children about the routine just before bed time.

5. Communicate a change in the routine well in advance.

6. Support your children in creating the habit of choosing their clothes, organizing their school bags and homework the night before.

7. Keep a firm bedtime so they are not too tired in the morning.

8. You may want to play energetic music in the mornings to create the right type of ambience.

 1. Avoid turning on the TV, computer or video game on.

2. Don’t change the routine in the middle of the morning.

3. Don’t let the fact that you might be late stress you out or make you yell at the kids. Remember if you are going to be late it won’t matter if you are stressed or irritated– so ask yourself: “Does it serve me to role model to my kids this behaviour?”
]]> http://parentwithchoice.com/morning-routines-and-making-them-work/feed/ 1 Why you should have your kids’ consent to share their photos online http://parentwithchoice.com/why-you-should-have-your-kids%e2%80%99-consent-to-share-their-photos-online/ http://parentwithchoice.com/why-you-should-have-your-kids%e2%80%99-consent-to-share-their-photos-online/#comments Fri, 28 Jan 2011 04:30:17 +0000 admin http://parentwithchoice.com/?p=876 The following survey caused me to feel both surprised and alarmed.  I am impressed that we seem to dedicate a lot of time to educating our children about the dangers of social networking. We tell them not to post any pictures, not to disclose personal data, and not to write anything that will embarrass or damage their reputations them later on. Yet, in the meantime according to this survey it is we who are responsible for creating their “digital footprint” from birth and sometimes even before that. We are the ones who post pictures which may embarrass them when they are older. I invite you to think about this not from a safety perspective but from a relationship perspective. When we post pictures of our little kids we, in a way, don’t respect their privacy, as we did not have their permission to do so.

As parents we want to be mindful of what we post online not only for safety reasons but we also want to think about our children 20 or 30 years in the future and to make sure that any pictures or comments we post will not damage or embarrass their future possibilities.

The following survey http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/39560255/ns/technology_and_science-tech_and_gadgets/?GT1=43001 caused me to feel both surprised and alarmed. I am impressed that we seem to dedicate a lot of time to educating our children about the dangers of social networking. We tell them not to post any pictures, not to disclose personal data, and not to write anything that will embarrass or damage their reputations them later on. Yet, in the meantime according to this survey it is we who are responsible for creating their “digital footprint” from birth and sometimes even before that. We are the ones who post pictures which may embarrass them when they are older. I invite you to think about this not from a safety perspective but from a relationship perspective. When we post pictures of our little kids we, in a way, don’t respect their privacy, as we did not have their permission to do so.

As parents we want to be mindful of what we post online not only for safety reasons but we also want to think about our children 20 or 30 years in the future and to make sure that any pictures or comments we post will not damage or embarrass their future possibilities.

]]> http://parentwithchoice.com/why-you-should-have-your-kids%e2%80%99-consent-to-share-their-photos-online/feed/ 0