I personally don’t believe in disciplining your children. A parent that wants to discipline her child wants to change her or in other words to impose certain rules, concepts and beliefs on her. Unfortunately, the only person we can change in the whole wild world is ourselves.
When we yell at our children and make our demands we act as an external force. The road to a change is an internal one. We might be able to force them to do something for us but we can’t force them to be the person we want them to be. It has to be their choice!!!
Some of the parents coaching ways to trigger this internal change in your child are through:
1) Modeling the wanted behavior: Whatever we want the child to do, who ever we want them to be, we need to do and be first and foremost.
2) Name the reason in advance: When you state the reason there is less resistance because it make sense and the child doesn’t feel that you give him arbitrary orders.
3) Give him the freedom to choose: Every person, children included, need to feel a sense of control and power over his life. Children in general have so little of this and when we order them to do stuff they feel so powerless and lack of control that they resist.
The trick is to thing ahead and come up with a few options that you can live with and then present it the child as a choice. This is a win-win situation as the child will be more likely to follow through his choice.